Mommy guilt…it something mother’s everywhere struggle with. As a counselor I talk about it with almost all of my mom clients. Whether their kids are infants or adults just about every mom that comes through my office struggles with this. “I don’t spend enough time with them.” “I hate that I have to work and don’t get to be at home with them.” “I wish I had prepared them better.” “They are making poor decisions and I feel like it is my fault for not teaching them better.”
I am sure you struggle with it too. I know I do! I never feel like I give my daughter enough one on one time. I worry that I don’t read to my son as much as I do his sister. I feel bad when I have to go to work instead of staying home with a sick baby. I wish everyday that I had more patience for my precocious toddlers. I could go on and on!
I am sure you have a list that mirrors mine. In our instantly connected culture I think mommy guilt is more pronounced than ever. Everywhere we look we can see other moms who are doing it “better” than we are. Facebook, Pinterest, and blogs all show us examples of moms who are more crafty, more frugal, more patient, more…whatever than we are. How can we ever measure up?
The reality is we can’t! We have to stop comparing ourselves to other moms and focus on being the best mom we can be. Here are a few tips for dealing with your own mommy guilt:
-Remember that God gave you your child(ren) for a reason…you are the best mom for them!
-Know and focus on your strengths! We all have different strengths instead of focusing on what you can’t do for your kids focus on what you are good at. Then, you can ask for help with the things you aren’t as good at. For example, I am terrible at crafts and honestly I hate the mess they make…that’s why my daughter goes to a CDO program!
-Give yourself grace. We all make mistakes and motherhood is hard! When you feel like you are failing step back, take a deep breath, and remember you are human. Give it over to God, pray for strength and guidance, and start fresh!
-Take care of yourself! As moms we tend to put everyone else first but then we end up worn out ourselves. We can’t be the best mom we can be when we are running on empty. Take time to recharge and care for yourself (emotionally, spiritually, and physically). You will be a better mom for it!