Taking a Break from Being Supermom

Posted by on Apr 21, 2015 in Blog, Featured, Mental Health, Parenting, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Taking a Break from Being Supermom

As a new momma, I’ve begun to understand a whole new world of self-doubt. It’s not talked about much, or at least not enough. I remember sitting in the hospital  rocking chair rocking our brand new son, who was screaming at the top of his lungs, and being filled with immense fear. How was I going to do this? Could I do this? Did I have what it takes? Those days in the hospital seem long, yet they fly by. And then…you go home. This is the moment it all changes. Sure, the self-doubt is there, but somehow, like in one swift motion, it gets pushed way down beneath the surface and we turn into this powerful superbeing called “mommy.” We do what we have to do, because we have to do it. All of the sudden, we walk around everywhere saying how great motherhood is (not that it isn’t amazing, but it certainly has its challenges). We smile and say that everything is going well and that we’re handling it all just fine. Meanwhile, we’re emotionally and physically exhausted, but that doesn’t matter right? Because we do what we have to do, because we just have to do it. I think God created women with this wonderful, powerful gift to just get. things. done. He provides us with the superhero strength to accomplish great things, like making it through a full day of mothering and homemaking (and for many even working full time!) after waking up every 2 hours to put a screaming baby back to sleep. Yes, I’d say we are definitely superheros–we’re supermoms. But supermomma, let me tell you, sometimes, you’ve got to be able to take your cape off (even superhero capes need to go to the dry cleaners sometimes!). The cape, the mask, the forced smiles, whatever it may be for you (maybe it’s all three), you have to have moments to sit and be free of supermom duty. Take time to simply be you. No masks, no fake smiles, no saying “Oh it’s so great I am just so happy with this little bundle of joy all the time. 24/7.” Because truth is, when its 1:00 am and the baby is screaming or the toddler is tugging at your pillow your first thought isn’t always immediately so joyful. And that’s okay–it doesn’t mean you love them any less. You might be a supermom, but you’re still human. So find a friend, a relative, a small group, a Bible study, a mom’s group, etc. where you can walk through the doors and just simply be you. No babies or kiddos, just you. Find people who you can be cape-less with, who you can be truthful with about how you (really) are doing. People who you can let in to your real world and share some of the not so pretty pieces. Because this really is the hardest job on earth and we can’t go at it alone. If we don’t have cape-less, real moments with others who can simply listen and build us up in encouragement, we have cape-less, real moments alone. And sure enough, you better believe that self-doubt shows up with fury. Then soon all we hear is a voice that says, “You can’t do this.” You can do this, but sometimes you need an hour or so where you don’t have to. Sometimes you need an hour to sip a warm latte, laugh and cry with friends, and then pick up your cape on the way home. And if you feel like you’re too far stuck in a dark hole of fear, shame and guilt that you’re not even sure how to start to get out, or that it’s too scary to reach out to a friend, a counselor can be the perfect person to come alongside you and say, “Hey, I’m here with you, we’ll take each step out of this hole together.” Wherever it may be and whoever it may be with, find that time that you can take a break from being “momma,” trust me, you’ll be a much better superhero for it.

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