Every year, thousands of couples seek marriage counseling to help improve their relationships. And with all the new technology popping up over the past few decades, we’re seeing new trends in why couples seek help. Social media allows people to connect in ways and at speeds that weren’t possible until recently, but that opportunity comes with a responsibility. Many affairs begin by people being secretive or irresponsible with their connections with people. Communication between spouses is jeopardized when each person is more focused on their phone or TV screens instead talking to each other face-to-face. Almost all of the couples we see at our practice have some kind of issue with technology at the core of their conflict.
The way you choose to use technology can be a blessing or a curse to your relationship. Here are a few ideas for allowing technology to enhance your marriage– instead of breaking it up.
- Brag about your spouse on Facebook. You have 250 Facebook friends? Within 30 seconds, they can all know about how your husband just took initiative to do the dishes, or view a picture of him on the floor being involved with your kids. Of course you’ll also thank him face-to-face, but he’ll feel extra-appreciated when you make it public.
- Set limits on your smartphone use. One of the great things about technology is we can almost always be accessible… but that doesn’t mean we should be. Are you the type of person who is always checking your phone? How much would it mean to your spouse if you designated certain times where you leave the phone in the other room and focus on family time?
- Post a selfie of the two of you doing something fun together. A great way to affair-proof your marriage is to remind everyone around you that you’re in a happy, committed relationship.
- Allow your spouse unlimited access to your technology accounts. Even if they don’t use it, knowing they can builds trust and accountability.
What ideas do you have for using social media and technology to boost your relationship?